I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
