My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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