if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
