I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
