Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
