Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
