Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
