i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
