Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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