just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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