all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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