I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
