There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
