Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
