I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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