She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
