Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize