I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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