one might say we're banned from that church
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
