Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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