Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
