bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
