So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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