I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
