we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
