I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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