never play flip cup with pint glasses
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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