i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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