I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
