drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
3 2 1 whiskey
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
