Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
