if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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