VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Duck Duck Cougar?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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