some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
