I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
