did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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