I hate your face
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
