She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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