Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
