Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
