I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
