Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
