I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
