Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
