I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
