Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
