on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
