VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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