i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
