i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
