I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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