I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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