Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
