He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
