He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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